Sadness is. What’s the rest of the truth?

For the first time, what I want to write down, I am afraid to publish as a blog post.  Do I dare?

Sadness, depressed feelings, overwhelm.  I allow myself to cry deep tears, and more tears and more tears.  As the tears flow, my mind gets clearer.  “What is this about?” I ask.  The first part of me to speak offers, “I don’t know.”  Another part tentatively offers, “Martha you are grieving.”

I think that’s right. And as it should be.  In the throes of a year of moving, which is almost exactly what it has been, I never gave myself permission to detour into grief. There was too much to do.  In addition, after 9 months, when almost settled, I moved once again to a larger apartment in the complex.  Finally  arriving at my second new “home,” I noted the depressed feelings starting. I also notice they have since become full blown.  Given that I am very happy here, I keep asking myself, “What is this about?” Continue reading