For the first time, what I want to write down, I am afraid to publish as a blog post. Do I dare?
Sadness, depressed feelings, overwhelm. I allow myself to cry deep tears, and more tears and more tears. As the tears flow, my mind gets clearer. “What is this about?” I ask. The first part of me to speak offers, “I don’t know.” Another part tentatively offers, “Martha you are grieving.”
I think that’s right. And as it should be. In the throes of a year of moving, which is almost exactly what it has been, I never gave myself permission to detour into grief. There was too much to do. In addition, after 9 months, when almost settled, I moved once again to a larger apartment in the complex. Finally arriving at my second new “home,” I noted the depressed feelings starting. I also notice they have since become full blown. Given that I am very happy here, I keep asking myself, “What is this about?” Continue reading