The Goal…to stand and walk



Yes, here’s a picture of what I have on the good days, and what I want on all days, without the benefit of any crutch,  chair, walker, or scooter!    Perhaps my progress is easier for others to see…especially my PT who knows how and where to look.  Yesterday, she exuded pleasure with my progress, and laid on some next VERY HARD exercises to master.

While I loved the affirmation, I hate the process.  Fortunately, I’m gaining some experience with being able to do two iterations of whatever she assigns at first, collapsing with exhaustion, and after a month being able “to find the muscles” and use them for three, five, 10 and 20 times.

PT praise at our next meeting is welcome surprise.

What choice do I have, if I want a life that works?  And so, little by little, by little, we (my body and I)  keep marching forward, straighter and taller and a bit more easily each week.

She, the scoliosis specialist,  thinks I can do it.

And I, finally, am gaining a glimmer of hope.

Musing out loud

I unearthed this video, created in 2011, when I was preparing two volumes of Musing Along the Way for publication and was experimenting with making videos on my computer.

Interesting that after so many years, the topic feels so very current. Frankly, it’s no more fun than it was in 2003 when I first acknowledged the despair, penned my reactions, and stuck the page in a file drawer.   Curious that this morning’s serendipitous viewing occurs at the very time that I’m renewing my commitment to another set of tedious exercises to help me straighten my back.   It’s still not fun. 

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OK, I’m on it.  Yet one more time.

Empty and confused

When you’re in the midst of it, it makes no sense.  Death and dying are the topics that currently surround me.  At the moment I am feeling empty and confused.  Previous experience tells me to go with it, and it will pass.  And so I do….. Continue reading